I feel like I'm in dance class right now
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
