is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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