Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize