You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
