My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Randomize
