Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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