mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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