how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Someone came in the potted fern
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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