I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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