we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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