ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My dick has a subreddit
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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