Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize