thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
