I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
