I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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