so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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