idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
