I wannas sexs uuuuu
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
