i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Your mouth is God's brothel.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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