only if we run a train.
done.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
