He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
