Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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