One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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