she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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