Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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