he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
