Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
