he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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