can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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