I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize