i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
