Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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