Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
