Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize