you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Randomize
