he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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