whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
