By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
