I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Verdict: uncircumcised.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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