Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
