I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
