you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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