the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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