Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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