I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
