If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
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