did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
