Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
In America we eat man semen.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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