I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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