she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
