In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
