You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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