I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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