i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
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