i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
