chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
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