You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
