All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize