then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
