afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
