i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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