my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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